BRIAN REGAN: NUNCHUCKS AND FLAMETHROWERS (2017) – Full Transcript January 28, 2018 Brian Regan takes relatable family humor to new heights as he talks board games, underwear elastic and looking for hot dogs in all the wrong places. Might as well have fun with it. We put the rackets away, she says, “My husband and I have an announcement to make.” And I’m like, “What’s that?” She goes, “I’m five months pregnant.” [audience laughing] So, I beat a pregnant woman at tennis. I think we’re done with the hour. Funyuns is the brand name of an onion-flavoured corn snack introduced in the United States in 1969 and invented by Frito-Lay employee George Bigner. [audience laughing] Maybe– Maybe that’s it. “What happens? Maybe I don’t know how to say anything sincere. (Think: Patrick Warburton.) [audience laughing] Mike, I’m having trouble dealing with it. Please log in, or sign up for a new account to continue reading. I didn’t wanna say something, “I beat you!” It’s okay. You imagine a hockey coach on the sidelines… [audience laughing] wearing full goalie gear? Winds ESE at 10 to 15 mph. I want my family flying around on elephants before your family. I’m thinking, “I don’t believe we’re doing this.” Then I hear that dreaded: [mimics whirring sound] Huh. He’ll just go, “Game.” [audience laughing] “How many points did I get?” “Game. Somebody told me TV adds ten pounds. If you don’t feel like it, can you pretend you’re ordering Tater Tots for yourself, and slide them to your friend or do they monitor that? The decisions some people make. "How was your first day of school?" On a personal note, I had the pleasure of working with you on the Arms Services Committee. Little moments where you go, “Hey, that was new.” It used to be I’d put on my underwear, and that was it. -- How baseball umpires go into near histrionics to call a strike, but show virtually no response whatsoever when a pitch is a ball: "Are you open to suggestions? Neither of you could handle this action. It lands on the roof of some warehouse. So is my mom. These people wanted to build a building that was higher than what the law allowed. I didn’t believe it till I was watching this nature show about ants, and I was like: -Wow! [audience laughing] It was fan chirp-off night. Click, click, click. As if to parody his own popularity in the Beehive State, Regan elicited raucous laughter in the opening minutes of his set simply by generously over-thanking each portion of the in-the-round audience for its applause. Thank you for signing in! Regan was always a fan of Steve Martin, The Smothers Brothers and Johnny Carson.. I said, “Dad, you need help?” He goes, “I got it.” I said, “I’m next to you if you need me.” He goes, “All right.” The hostess looks out and sees my dad shuffling along. Regan was good as a guy trying to remember directions before a date and as an umpire calling balls and strikes. You don’t say it with other things, like your checking account. I tried to call him the other day. In 1992, Robert Morris captured the Northeast Conference regular season and conference tournament titles to advance to the NCAA Tournament. I said, “How’s that donut?” He goes, “Has a hole in it.” [audience laughing] The most beautiful joke I heard. People think I’m smart and gracious. Provo, UT, USA: Ancestry.com Operations, Inc., 2007. https://www.courant.com/ctnow/arts-theater/hc-brian-regan-20141001-story.html, "Q&A: Comedian Brian Regan talks humor and his upcoming show in South Bend", "Brian Regan, the Traditionalist Comedian", "Miami native Brian Regan joins lineup at South Beach Comedy Festival", "Brian Regan (Stand-up Comedian) Biography", "COMEDY CENTRAL AND BRIAN REGAN ANNOUNCE THE FIRST LIVE...", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Brian_Regan_(comedian)&oldid=982711873, Articles with unsourced statements from September 2016, Official website different in Wikidata and Wikipedia, Wikipedia articles with MusicBrainz identifiers, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License, Kathleen Patricia Bieszczat (October 15, 1997-2011; divorced, This page was last edited on 9 October 2020, at 21:11. ‘Cause a good dad can solve a problem in 30 seconds. “Give me the ball back. Please log in, or sign up for a new account and purchase a subscription to continue reading. This year’s Stadium of Fire lineup just got a whole lot funnier. He thinks little numbers is better than all that.” No, I’ll just sit here and eat Funyuns2.”. [audience laughing] And he was like, “No, no, no. [audience laughing] I don’t think anyone has done that. 5 mins ago [yelling] Give me the ball back. [audience laughing] I gained ten pounds just for that joke. I don’t wanna be yelled at. My brother-in-law was talking about his motorcycle, and said to me, “You should go for a ride with me on my motorcycle.” I was like, “Yeah, it’d be fun to go for a ride.” He goes, “All right. Let me see if it’s gonna be cold.” [screams] [audience laughing] [screams] He goes to parties with his toe bandaged. I’m in the back. A lot of techniques everybody knows about. 2. Wonderful man. -[audience laughing] “Those things look like they weigh 10.0001 pounds.” I immediately called the exterminator. Your email address will not be published. I was in the stands at the Braves game, everybody was going: [chanting] [panting while chanting] A bunch of overweight white people: “Give me another Big Gulp! When I was a kid… one time, my parents let the four oldest boys in our family take the station wagon to go bowling. [audience laughing] If they weren’t in the bubble, we’d lose them for sure. It’ll be challenging for me to get open. My mom is funny, too, but she’s funny in a quirky way. Skedaddle. Hop? [audience laughing] When did that happen? And when you stand back up, it doesn’t flap back into place. He coached all eight of us and worked a full-time job. Hasn’t worked. They’re in a bubble. Get up-to-the-minute news sent straight to your device. Tuesday’s Trash 1/15/19. [audience laughing] Just as far as I could humanly hurl. 23 mins ago Like, “Clearly, I don’t have all the information. One is I have to over-explain things. I like baseball. Ever agree to something that you wonder how you agreed to that? “Cigarette boat racing?” “You know it. Good night. Hug the post!” If you don’t hug the post, some worm family: [shouting gibberish] [singing] Worm people are on the planet [audience laughing] It happened anyway. Just going to barbecues. “He was a part of a long period of success here at Pitt and continues to play a significant role as we work our way back to that level of success.”. Somehow his humor has the innate ability to bring all factions together in this state, more than any other. This feels inappropriate somehow.” I don’t think they meant anything by it, but… same thing when I was in Toronto at the Blue Jays game and… their fans were going: -[mimics bird chirping] -[audience laughing] I don’t think they meant anything by it. At our level, if we don’t like somebody, we say like, “Hey, I don’t like you.” At that level, they’re nice for four minutes, and on the fifth minute, they kick them in the teeth.