Agreeableness is cowardice. Whether it’s getting more votes, more customers, or more points on the basketball court, the arrogant show little care or concern for whom they leave behind in the dust. For example, a naturally noisy, exuberant person has to learn to be quiet in certain situations - such as when in a Library. In daily life, part of the arrogant picture involves this desire to dominate, but also a kind of overconfidence in one’s abilities actually to win. “Would you like lobster or a hot dog, son?” Altshuler’s father asked once they settled into their seats. "Margaret" was always a keen dancer, and very eager to try out for a prestigious ballet school. Arrogant people have a knack for hurting other people's feelings. Even though he was a born salesman, Altshuler constantly found himself at odds with his supervisor. You die. I could never do that kind of work.” My grandfather very politely responded by saying, “Oh, please forgive me. Of course, I was thrilled. This site is not intended to provide, and does not constitute, medical, health, I'll give you some hypothetical examples of competent versus arrogant for comparison... 1. I think arrogance goes with other cluster traits around psychopathy and narcissism more than anything else. Margaret had to learn, and rehearse, two dances as part of her audition. I out duped them, in a genius sort of way, and boy are they mad. True arrogance may occur in people when they are permitted to live according to the inherent traits that make for arrogance. Shock them a bit by letting them know how close it hits to home. While it is hard to sympathize with someone like this, remember that they are still human and that you should treat them with respect regardless of circumstances. What is your weakness? Trust was broken in my marriage and it hurt. In many cases arrogance is a form of deception, a con to give the impression they are brilliant and all-knowing. Don’t ever make excuses for your performance … because you are responsible for what you do. What is the Yale study you reference at the end? Don't let it get to you. Words like "cocky" and "boastful" have negative connotations to may people, and I think that because of this, it is unlikely that many people would choose to self-identify with such words. I AM a college graduate. Highly capable people are, in my eyes, seldom truly arrogant. To be honest - the will to win is what keeps people alive and well - and effective at work as well. And yep, you've guessed it, most of them are in solid professions, lawyers, docs, teachers etc. It's not because the people who have fallen victim to these indiscretions are 'lazy' and unworthy either. Nov 22, 2014 - Explore shaa iraa's board "Arrogant people" on Pinterest. This is hurtful... 3. So arrogant, difficult people, your behaviors may make you prominent, but that’s a far cry from being significant. A quick apology and exit by the rude person is likely to follow. It makes everyone sick except the person who has it. (It really winds them up). Something else that struck me - the Yale University study shows results that remind me of something. To get an arrogant person to leave you alone you must learn to de-value his/her attempts to act cool. Of course, everyone in the free world has the right to voice their opinion and thoughts, but it's obviously incredibly naive and foolish to think that only one way of thinking (or one opinion) is some kind of universal truth. The arrogant, similarly, are primed not only to win, but to see themselves as deserving of winning. The next time you are arguing, refuse to back down and concede your point. Ian remains boastful and competitive, and has grown up with the feeling that he can make mistakes in life and get away with them. She is also heavily reliant upon her mother, and is happy to stoop to Nepotism in order to gain an advantage over other students when it comes to work. Reprinted with permission from the author. That is the narcissist, not the arrogant. Call them out on their arrogant behavior and let them know that you find it completely unacceptable. He explained his predicament to his father, a veteran sales pro. So let me suggest four things you can do so you never become one of “those” difficult people. This person could be charming in spite of their evident snobbery, so it’s worth giving them a chance especially if it’s someone new. And if you’re stuck working or living with one of “those” types, you might slip them a copy of this “Tuesday Tip.” Who knows? If you always seem to cross paths with people who are stuck on themselves, try out these tips. You are not obligated to put up with arrogance and ignorance. Listen attentively and give them a chance to speak freely. Enjoy it, but don’t swallow it.”. An individual with empathy would find it very hard to manipulate and deliberately hurt other people just for the sake of getting what he/she wanted in life. 6 PERFECT Comebacks For Dealing With Arrogant People 1. Beliefnet is a lifestyle website providing feature editorial content around the topics of inspiration, spirituality, health, wellness, love and family, news and entertainment. At first, she worked very hard at this. They also share a few traits and characteristics with narcissists, including believing that they are unique and only understood by high-status people, always being expectant of admiration from others, having a large degree of entitlement, and a lack of empathy. On the flip side, arrogant people tend to look for people-pleasers or timid mouse’s because it is easy to push these type of people around. She is overweight, and constantly makes negative, envious comments about female students who are thinner than her. Perhaps you have a friend who’s applying for a job that is way out of her league. Use a phrase like “You have an interesting point there. If you can hold back from commenting, this could be a great chance to teach grace by example. Take Luella Cooper from the Social Security Administration, for example. 7. including such notables as President Ronald Reagan, General Colin Powell, and author Ken Blanchard. Action: Do you have any of the four qualities of arrogant people? That analogy helped the younger Altshuler realize the crucial role he played in his own success. If the situation escalates or the person doesn’t respond in a kind way, simply exit the situation and leave it alone. An occasional “mmm,” “ah,” and the like will show that you are uninterested in the conversation and that you are not truly being engaged. 9 Ways to Handle Arrogant People Have high self-confidence.. One of the best ways to face an arrogant person is by showing up with your own high... Use it as a growth opportunity.. Use it as a growth opportunity. They forget the creator of the “Dennis the Menace” cartoon strip, Hank Ketcham’s advice, . 5. Arrogant, in my definition, equates pretty much exactly with "cocky". It's most likely because they are deemed 'undesirables' by the wealthy Godless tyrants running our society who have purposely positioned them in this hopeless situation to guarantee their failure and lack of hope for any kind of bright future. 4. But it’s not only stupid, it’s also counterproductive. Don’t ever think you’re better than others … because you’re not. This can provide a much-needed dose of perspective and humility. Similarly, once they’re in situations that trigger their hunger for power, such as a competition, the truly arrogant will work even harder to outdo their opponents. He said, “Flattery is like chewing gum. This can be difficult, because some participants may deliberately give answers that they think the researchers want to hear. They challenge me persistently and want me to bend or break, using violence to get the 'W' with no regard for their own safety that of children or that of others. "Joe" is a highly-qualified, award-winning architect who is working on an innovative new town-planning project. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations. You may be surprised by their capacity for change. A final word to difficult people. You do not need to resort to shouting, swearing or arguing. It is not easy to constantly be around these types of people because they can begin to pick away at your self-confidence. Ian's parents allowed him to gloss over the details of his poor performance, and instead, allowed him t convince himself that he had done really well in his studies. We should stop pathologizing male traits in a bizarre attempt to make men into effeminate, bland Tobys. 2. Their reasoning was that arrogance reflects an interpersonal quality which combines a desire to overpower others. A final word to those affected by ego, pride, and arrogance. Is there a deep story that is worth knowing? I would term this the "spoiled -" or "mollycoddled child" scenario. Some people are perceived by others as "arrogant" because they are highly talented, highly capable individuals whom others view as a potential threat, or rival.