To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Freakin' jaysus, it was the best sex I've had in 25 years! You might have gotten disability too.". That will be $500." The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open. Returning visitor? Boy just laughs and keeps walking. He went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened. But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy). The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to. A retired man purchased a home near a high school. Three old guys, all hard of hearing, were playing golf one sunny spring morning. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. We quit!" The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." "I would like it infrequently ", she replied. Old man says "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" Boy yells back "Roll of chicken wire." The old lady was delighted. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process. But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face at Bob Evans again.". "Not a problem," replied the doctor. Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. George Burns. There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway". *image credit source unknown, Ha! ”Doctor, I can’t even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache,” she claimed. ", "Why so terrible?" The doctor smiled and said, ”Have you tried to give him Viagra?” I used to do the same thing when I was your age. ”Did it not work?” ”Well,” she said. Boy says "It's a pussy willow." What do you think I should do?" ", An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission. "What is Irish Viagra?" You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent." Post Cancel. We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing". The humor of a particular society is incredibly specific to the people who live in it. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer ", An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. He won’t notice a thing.” There’s something charming about these old jokes and how quaint they are that you can’t help but laugh at. So if you want to have some old fun, then read our senior jokes. Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand. He replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid. Give it a try and let's talk in a week." You've got your taste back. The doctor says "I see. Will you do me a favour? Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it! And the man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days. Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. "You asked your neighbor?" The Canadian said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." That will be $500." ", An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his carphone. Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." ", An elderly couple was attending church services. This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Oct 18, 2013 - Explore Rebeca Shemesh's board "Old people jokes" on Pinterest. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. Take these pills and come back to see me next week." "It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. I tell them, a paternity suit. This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote. "Good", the doctor said, "now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing.". T'was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare! Old man yells back, "You damn fool, you can't catch ducks with duck tape!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! "How do you feel about s*x?" The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! After a few days, the old man greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. I hope you enjoy them, too. You must be a registered user to submit a joke. One says to another, "Windy, isn't it?" Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Weeks later the old lady returned. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. What happened?" He yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" "If you think we're going to waste our time beating these around for 25 cents each a day, you're nuts! He won't even taste it. Old man says "What you gonna do with that?" One afternoon early into the first semester, three loud young boys came down his street, beating merrily on every bin they came across. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his application. I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!''